Kayte Christensen: Confessions of a T.V. Addict
The more I watch Friends the more I realize that I am just like Monica. This isn�t necessarily a bad thing, but the fact that all of her anal retentive qualities are the ones that I can relate to is what makes this a bad thing. Not only am I anally clean, but not to the point where I find extreme joy out of cleaning my oven (I just like things how I like them!), but I am the type of person that requires a bit of attention. Now before you start thinking that I am a high maintenance, pushy, neurotic b%*$h, let me stop you right there. The episode a couple of weeks ago when Chandler thought Joey had court side seats to a Knicks/Wizards game, which happened to be on Monica�s only night off, she said to him on the phone, �I don�t want to be one of those wives that says �You can�t do that. You have to spend time with me,� I just want you to realize it on your own.� That is so something I could see myself saying. When I actually have a man, I like to have a man if you know what I mean. But who knows, maybe this will all change by the time I actually get a man again!!!! I�ll be happy just to be able to say I�m dating someone and I won�t ever have to see him!
It reminds me of the time when I was trying to stop sucking my thumb. Being old enough to WANT to stop sucking my thumb was the first problem (but I will always hang on to what my pediatrician said to my parents that sucking your thumb promotes brain development�if that was the case I should be the next Einstein). It was the methods that I used to try to prevent me from being able to suck my thumb that gets a bit sketchy. My sister and I first tried putting a sock over our hands at night because, come on already, who wants to put a sock in their mouth? But I wasn�t an idiot, no. I knew how to put it on and I definitely knew how to take it off. So we went to option number two: Tabasco sauce. My sister thought of it, and then she quickly smashed that idea. I guess it seemed a bit drastic to her. So I begged her to please put Tabasco sauce on my thumb and I would double up by putting a sock over my hand as well. So I finally convinced her that my idea was a good one and she poured the sauce over my thumb.
Well, the problem came about the next morning. I had a successful night of no thumb sucking�I never have liked Tabasco sauce�but the crisis came a little later that next morning. We were on our way to church, a forty-five minute drive, and my thumb was on fire. But I wasn�t about to say anything, thus proving that my sister was right when she said Tabasco sauce wasn�t a good idea. Instead I sat there in the back seat of our mini van in a desperate attempt to wait until I got to church and I could pray to God to make it stop burning. Well, I broke about five minutes from the church and I started bawling. My Mom turned around to see what was going on when I stuck my thumb up to show her and I had the biggest freakin� rash that was starting to spread down my hand. So I had to tell her the whole story, which gave my sister great satisfaction. But seriously people, what were my options? I was 10 years old, I thought that I had been infected with some terrible hot sauce disease and that my whole body would soon become this mound of rash-covered skin. I would have been better off gnawing my thumb off. You live and you learn though!
Missed the last Confessions of a T.V. Addict? Read Kayte's thoughts on Friends and holiday gift-giving.
Read Kayte's "Christensen Chronicles" journal entries from the 2002 season:
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Entry nine Entry eight Entry seven |
Entry six Entry five Entry four |
Entry three Entry two Entry one |