Feb. 2, 2002

The following is not a typical athlete's journal entry. You will not read about how many points were scored, who won, or who was difficult to guard. Instead, you will get a fresh look into the bizarre happenings that make up The World According To Me. I'll be posting new entries regularly, so stay tuned ...

I have to admit that when I look at WNBA.com -- I'm ashamed of myself. Not because my stats last season sucked pond water off a blue Timberland boot sole, but because my last journal entry was back in October of 2001. Well, I'm finally doing something about it. (No worries, I plan on doing something about the skinny stats too. That'll happen this summer.)

A stickered suitcase full of good stuff has happened in the past three months, but I'll only list the interesting highlights here. (After all, I doubt you want to read about the 2-on-2 hoops game with Adam Sandler at the Reebok club, my brief conversation with Greg Louganis, or bowling with Jason Sehorn and Angie Harmon.)

The Top Highlight of 2002 (so far):
PLAYING HOOPS WITHOUT A KNEE BRACE!!!
Instead of going overseas (which wasn't too appealing once the U.S. went to war), I decided to stay home and play for the Springfield Spirit in the NWBL. We started practicing in mid-January and I no longer wear a brace on my knee. Games start on Feb. 8 and run through the very end of March. We'll play a 20-game season and end in time for the start of WNBA training camp. I'm having a blast and working hard to get ready for the WNBA. (Our game schedule can be found at SpringfieldSpirit.com.)

Ralph

Williams

Wolters

I am joined on the Spirt by Kara Wolters (Sacramento Monarchs), Rita Williams (Indiana Fever All-Star), Shea Ralph (Utah Starzz) and a bunch of other very talented players. We plan on having a lot of fun the next few months.

You Can't Be Serious!
Kara Wolters played in Europe last season and experienced the most bizarre physical examination ever. Immediately upon arrival in Italy, she was taken to see the team doctor. During her physical, they tested her heart rate. According to Kara, the doctor told her to remove all her clothes except for her underpants. He then attached heart monitors to various places on her upper torso and had her jump up and down on a box so that her heart rate would increase.

The most unbelievable part of the story is that Kara agreed to the physical!!! Good gracious, I can just picture a 6-7 naked chick with wires growing out of her chest jumping up and down on a box while a male doctor and two male coaches stare in disbelief. Ciao bello!!!

You Can't Be Serious! Part 2
Kristen McCrory is a member of the Springfield Spirit and an alum of Syracuse Universtiy. I played against her when I was in college. After graduation, Kristen played for a professional team in Finland. While she loved the country and got along swell with her teammates, she told me that it was a little difficult to get used to the team parties. The Finnish players have what they call, "sauna parties." They go hang out [naked] in a hot sauna while eating cheese and crackers and drinking beer and wine. When it gets a little warm, they run [naked] outside and jump in a cold pond. They then return [naked] to the sauna. The male coach [also naked] often joins his players while they party like it's 1999.

I have only one comment: Praise the good Lord Jesus that this does not happen in the WNBA!!!

Courtesy of the New York Times
Apparently some people didn't enjoy the movie Shallow Hal as much as I did. I thought the Farrelly brothers' flick was entertaining. However, the film has been denounced by the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. The lobbying group called the film, "an insult to the 55 percent of Americans who are deemed 'overweight.'"
One question: Did the association stay until the end of the movie? After all, it had a happy ending.

Mariah Carey wasn't too pleased when she was released from her recording contract by EMI. I wouldn't be too happy either. However, Mariah might have wanted to respond with something other than a lyric from A Tribe Called Quest. (Note for my Mom: A Tribe Called Quest is a rap group.) Mariah said, "It goes something like, 'Industry Rule No. 480: Record company people are shady.'"
One question: What is Industry Rule No. 481?

Wicks

The fashion section of the Times reported that flat-soled shoes are "in" for the fall. That should make Sue Wicks happy. The Liberty fashion plate refuses to wear heels. She always looks sharp in her designer suits while remaining as close to 6-3 as possible.
One question (actually, two questions): This is for Sue ... how is Italy? Do you like playing with C-Rob? Jot me an e-mail when you get done jumping up and down on the box.

Random Thoughts
If you want to read an interesting book about the 2001 UConn women's basketball team, go to Uconnbook.com. John Walters traveled with the hoop team the entire season and reports some good behind-the-scenes tidbits. In all honesty, the foreword alone is worth the $14.95 cover price. However, if you decide to read past page three, you won't be disappointed.

Speaking of books, New York Daily News reporter Wayne Coffey has written a compelling book about the women's basketball team at Gallaudet, the world's only university for the deaf. I will never again take for granted the sound of a ball dribbling or sneakers squeaking on a hard wood floor.

The best book in the world remains Road Swing by Steve Rushin. (Even if you don't bring me flowers anymore.)

Movie Review
Harry Potter: I was a little disappointed in the movie after I'd devoured the delightful books like an unknowing sumo wrestler devours sushi-filled Twinkies. While I can't wait for year five at Hogwarts, the sequel to the Potter film might be a DVD rental for me.

Ocean's 11: I don't like Las Vegas very much, but I do like this movie about a Las Vegas heist. George Clooney and Brad Pitt keep the ladies (and some gents) happy while Julia Roberts lets the men (and some women) in the audience feel good about spending $10 on the ticket. Grab a tub of popcorn and enjoy.

Black Hawk Down: Great movie. However, I covered my face for much of the gruesome action and often found myself bawling like the sumo wrester who just realized what's in his Twinkie. Glad I saw it. Won't see it again.

Life As A House: Terrific Kevin Kline movie. It'll remind you of American Beauty and make you hope that L.A. offers something other than ridiculously dysfunctional families.

K-Pax: Yes, I was the person who saw this movie. First Pay It Forward and then this ... Kevin Spacey, my sweet man, what's going on? Why aren't you chillin' like a villain with The Usual Suspects?

Shallow Hal: Even though the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance denounced this film, I enjoyed it. (I hope that doesn't make me a bad person in their eyes.) Besides, Jack Black is one funny dude.

The Royal Tenenbaums: I liked this movie for the closet scene alone. Just seeing all the board games from my youth made me smile. Besides, writer/director Wes Anderson is the only person in the world who intentionally buys his clothes two sizes too small.

Time to give a big SHOUT OUT to:
Jessica Mullens: Told ya I would.
Grace Daley: Good to have you back in the States. TTFN
Puzzle-piecing/crossword-filling nerds. Nothing quite like nerd lovin'.
All the bozos who think it is, "Mr. Furry Bottom." I mean, how 'bout a little fact checking?!
Those who are "well read."
J Guy : Miss ya.
Brooke Lawer: Welcome.
Mr. Kitchen, Coach Meyers and my friends in Bowie, MD.
Fuster Mozzy: Stop pouting. I'll bring you to the Finnish sauna soon.