Oct. 25, 2001

The following is not a typical athlete's journal entry. You will not read about how many points were scored, who won, or who was difficult to guard. Instead, you will get a fresh look into the bizarre happenings that make up The World According To Me. I'll be posting new entries regularly, so stay tuned ...

I can't believe the WNBA season ended almost two months ago! I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to my teammates before they headed to their offseason destinations. (If any of you guys are reading this column ... I miss your crazy ways and can't wait to see you next spring!)

Offering a Hand ... and an Opinion

Wicks

I was privy to some of Sue Wicks' craziness on Sept. 21 when we went to the Food Bank of New Jersey for a couple of hours to help sort clothing and food. (Seattle's Charmin Smith was also there. I give her a lot of credit -- she's been doing tons of volunteer work in the NYC area since Sept. 11.) Anyway, while sorting through the clothes and food, Sue was also sorting through some of her thoughts. Her solution to the problems with the terrorists in the Middle East? "They are a passionate people. We should just pump valium into their water so they can relax a bit."

Family Reunion
On Sept. 22, Spoon and I joined a star-spangled band of athletes, musicians and other entertainers to re-record Nile Rodgers' song, "We Are Family." The record was supposed to be quickly released with the help of VH1 and Tommy Boy Records with proceeds going to various charities. Spike Lee directed the video.

While I have not heard the song or seen the video yet, I doubt the delay is a result of Diana Ross, Roberta Flack, Reverend Run (from Run DMC), or MaCauley Culkin singing off key. However, if the video ever hits the airwaves and there's a fuzzy part on the screen in the upper right hand corner, it won't be because some rapper was wearing a big Grrranimals logo that needed to be covered ... but to get rid of me and my off-keyness. (I know, that's not a word.) Anyway, my breath will remain bated until the song hits the airwaves. (Nope, don't know what that means either.)

Another Family Note: I was sitting right behind Taye Diggs for quite a long time before the shoot started. He is fantastically good looking in person. He is also the size of a Three Musketeer ... candy bar.

Last Family Note: I was grouped on the back riser with the "Indian" from The Village People and the winners from ABC's Making the Band ... wonder how WE ended up in the back?!

Other Offseason Dallies
October 2: My mother and I launched the RuthAnn and Rebecca Lobo Scholarship for the School of Allied Health at UConn. My hope is to raise at least $100,000 for this scholarship over the next five years. The money will go to students looking to enter the health care professions (including physical therapy and cancer research). Priority will be given to Hispanic and African-American students. You can find out more information, including how to make a donation, at Rebeccalobo.com.

Sales

October 5: Nykesha Sales had a golf tournament to raise money for charity. It was a spectacularly beautiful and fun day. My golf game was lacking ... everything. But, the event itself was terrific. It was held on a golf course in Connecticut called Tunxis Plantation. Now, I don't know about you, but the last place I'd expect to play golf in Connecticut is on a plantation. Side note: I wonder if that's where the kid from Florida practiced for the spelling bee? (See World -- not SeaWorld -- #49)

Swoopes

October 17: Sheryl Swoopes and I visited PS 64 elementary school in "Alphabet City" on the lower East Side of Manhattan. Sheryl read a book to kindergarteners who had watched through their classroom window on September 11 as the first plane crashed into the World Trade Center. I spoke to a sixth grade class and fielded a few questions from kids who wondered if I was scared to fly since the attacks.

Even though I am not afraid to get on an airplane, I do long for the days when my biggest transportation worry was how I was going to get to school if I missed the big yellow school bus. Two kids at PS 64 had conquered that problem -- there were two bicycles chained to the fence outside. One was a black BMX dirt bike (which I called a "big boy bike" when I was a kid). Parked right behind this transport god was a tiny pink bike ... with training wheels. I could vividly picture the scene that would occur after the bell rang to end the school day: a younger sister, feet pedaling frantically, trying to keep up with her cool older brother. Adding insult to injury, the chain keeping the pink bike safe and secure probably weighed more than the bike itself. Truly a terrific sight.

Only in New York
After my three and a half hour trek to PS 64, my first order of business was using the little girl's room. (Since it is an elementary school, it really is a little girl's room ... with toilet, sink, etc. made for people the size of ... Taye Diggs). Anyway, I was very impressed by a small table that was located opposite the sink. It held lotion, air freshening spray, hairspray, mints and various other items. I instinctively looked around for a woman to hand me a towel or for the basket where I could gently place my dollar tip. Only in NYC could you find this table in a public elementary school bathroom!

Things You Can Still Do in NYC
Have a catch in Central Park. (There is just something about asking someone to "have a catch" that takes me back to when I was a young girl. It's almost as enjoyable as riding bikes with the neighborhood kids.)

Spend $45 per ticket to watch grown men wearing g-string underwear swing from a rope at an off-Broadway show. Actually, De La Guarda is quite entertaining.

Go to a Yankee game and listen to the great hot dog/sausage debate.

Buy a ticket to Snoop Dog's Puff, Puff, Pass Tour. (Snoop is obviously referring to a choo-choo train on the non-stop rail.)

Kick your boy's butt in Yahtzee ... and Scrabble.

Quote of the Week/Month/Year (Courtesy of Macy Gray)
"I'm really demanding. No girl really wants just a guy. You want a prince, you want Jesus. So when he comes around and his name is, like, Steve, what are you supposed to do?"

Thumbs Up/Down Movie Review
My First Mister: Slow paced, but interesting enough. Definitely not a "guy movie."
Zoolander: Up. Just as stupid as you'd imagine ... but funny. Definitely a "guy movie."
Serendipity: Undecided. I really like John Cusack, but this movie didn't do much for me.

Time for the blessed Shout Outs to:
September 22nd birthday boys
Guys flexing and pimping on airplanes while women sob and cry
Pizza heating/Milk Dud eating/dice defeating little brothers
Steph: How 'bout some toast?
Guys wearing red suede shoes on the subway platform
Rhett Miller's 8th grade teacher
Skeletal DJ windchimes
Guys named Chip
Guys named Chip found sprawled in the Carmen Anthony's parking lot
Guys named Chip found sprawled in the Carmen Anthony's parking lot after getting their bum kicked by a 90-pound weakling