Aug. 20, 2001

The following is not a typical athlete's journal entry. You will not read about how many points were scored, who won, or who was difficult to guard. Instead, you will get a fresh look into the bizarre happenings that make up The World According To Me. I'll be posting new entries regularly, so stay tuned ...

Let me just start this column by stating the obvious ... the stakes have been raised. The folks at WNBA.com not only asked someone else to write a column during the playoffs, but they snagged my friend and former teammate Kara Wolters (a.k.a. Big Girl). I'll wait and see who gets top billing on the site before deciding if I feel like the red-headed stepchild of the dot-com family.

The Land of Sun and Shine

Hammon

We made a nice little sojourn to Miami. The team gave one of its best performances on the court and flashed some big smiles off it. However, Becky Hammon almost didn't make it to the game after seeing signs promoting a Gun & Knife Show. She's not a violent person but she does like to hunt. Of course, her weapon of choice remains the orange and oatmeal spherical rubber bullet (I know ... COR-NY).

After the game Spoon, VJ, Crystal and Tamika went to grab some grub. They were recognized and accosted by what they dubbed the "Booga-Woof Gang." Spoon's descriptions of the scene had the entire team howling like a pack of hyenas in the airport. She spoke of one woman who was, "sweating like a cowboy." I guess when you're from Pineland, Texas, you know what a sweating cowboy looks like.

(Yes ... we did play Miami at home on Sunday. All I have to say about that game is ... we play them again on Tuesday night at MSG.)

Sportsmanship Award

Wicks

Huge congratulations must go out to Sue Wicks, the 2001 WNBA Sportsmanship Award winner. We were telling Sue that it's a good thing she won the money that accompanies the award for now she can pay the fines that came with all her technicals this season. Seriously, Sue is a great sport and encompasses everything the award stands for and deserved it completely. I'm really happy for her ... way to go Suzie W!

Cell Phone Etiquette
Miss Manners would be much more effective if she was packing heat. Two members of the rap group Junior M.A.F.I.A. (known for their polite lyrics) were arrested for allegedly shooting a man in the leg because he was talking too loudly on a cell phone.
* No word on whether or not they purchased their gun at the Show in Miami.
* Related question: Have they found Tu Pac's killer yet?

Chess King
Under pressure from chess' international governing body (which is trying to make chess an Olympic sport), delegates at the U.S. Chess Federation have agreed to begin drug testing at tournaments. I don't know what is more ridiculous ... chess as an Olympic sport, or the fact that one of the drugs being tested for is steroids.
* Related note: Coach Richie likens playoff games to a chess match between the coaches. Adjustments here, adjustments there, adjustments adjustments everywhere.

Nagy's Snack Emporia

Nagy

Sometimes practice can be long and difficult. Andrea Nagy has an interesting way of staying alert and full of energy. One day we huddled during a scrimmage and Nagy must have needed to satiate her appetite ... for she took a bite out of an energy bar which she pulled out of its storage space -- in her sports bra. When it was time to break the huddle, Nagy put the remaining part of the wrapped snack back in its hammock where it nestled until the next huddle.

Speaking of Nagy, when she first came to the USA she thought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sounded repulsive. It was two years before she would try the brown bag lunch staple. Now she enjoys the treat (with and without the crust cut off). Of course, this is the same woman who used to eat sour cream straight out of the carton as a snack.
Author's note: No word on where she stores the PB&J between bites.

In the World of Entertainment
Time to highlight September 15 on your calendar! That is the day the SPAM museum opens in Austin, Minnesota. Hormel (makers of the fine delicacy) is opening a 16,500 square-foot homage to the tasty meat. The ode to ick will include a giant wall of SPAM showcasing 3,930 cans (presumably empty) towering over the lobby. Opening day will feature the singing Spamettes and each day you can take the Spam Exam (a ham trivia game) or see SPAM ... A Love Story (a 12-minute film). Um um good!

A visit to the fine state of Minnesota should also include a taping of the Comedy Central TV show Let's Bowl. The show is shot in Minneapolis and features people settling grievances over a game of bowling. Balls and shoes are free ... SPAM sandwich is a buck fifty.

Quote of the Week

Robinson

Courtesy of Crystal Robinson (C-Rob):
"B, do you know when your breath stinks? I know when MY breath stinks. And I take care of it."

Kym Hampton always gives us some pearls when she's on the road doing the Liberty radio broadcast. She was telling me that I should wear makeup and style my hair down during the games. She explained, "B, my motto is ... if you ain't gonna play, you might as well look good." The best thing was that she told me this when I was STILL ON THE ACTIVE ROSTER and dressed in my uniform for games!

Hey Mrs. DJ

Daley

Grace Daley has about 9,000 songs downloaded on her computer. She spends a lot of her free time making the girls on the team various mix CDs. She determines which songs she likes based on this litmus test ... "If it sounds good coming out of the open windows on the 34th floor, it's a fine diddy."

Time for a Shout Out to:
DJ Wiggily
Milk Dud stealing papas
Wyclef karaoke kings
"Excuse me, madam, but that's the front of your hand." Duane Reade shoppers
The priest at the church on 82nd street who mouthed to me while entering Mass, "Go Liberty"