July 19, 2001

The following is not a typical athlete's journal entry. You will not read about how many points were scored, who won, or who was difficult to guard. Instead, you will get a fresh look into the bizarre happenings that make up The World According To Me. I'll be posting new entries regularly, so stay tuned ...

I want to welcome the first time visitors to My World who read about the column in Sports Illustrated. Consider this your warning: I have strange teammates who do and say strange things. I don't tell them what to say or how to act ... I simply report it as truthfully (with an embellishment here and there) as I can. Admission is free and I'm glad you're along for the ride.

It seems a shame that we didn't do more to celebrate the 50th edition of my column last time I wrote -- especially since Number 50 wrote number 50. Instead we'll celebrate the 50th column that is actually read by someone other than me. That should give me a few more years to plan the party ...

I must add rule #932 to autograph etiquette: Never call player's hotel rooms and ask foolish questions. First of all, the players are most likely napping. Second, if the player asks you to identify yourself ... don't just pause and repeat your question.

Entrepreneur's R Us
I think it's great when young kids set up lemonade stands in the summertime. There's something about driving down an old country road and seeing a big cardboard sign and ice-cold beverage propped on a folding table. However, I must admit that it loses that Norman Rockwell feeling when you see two kids sitting on concrete on the Upper West Side of Manhattan screaming, "Lemonade for sale!" at the top of their lungs. The carton of Newman's Own lemonade and printed sign from Kinko's doesn't quite fit the picture either. Ah, these lasses from the city simply don't understand ...

Gotta appreciate truth in advertising. While on the way to the Hive in Charlotte to play the Sting, our bus passed a man standing on a street corner looking for a donation. He wore tattered jeans with belt undone, and no shirt. His cardboard sign read, "Why lie? I need a beer."

Fan-atics
People must be slipping Mickey's in Orlando instead of just shaking his hand. We arrived at the airport in Orlando after midnight. All the stores and restaurants were closed and the gates were empty. However, when we got off the plane there were three gentlemen waiting with WNBA basketballs for our team to sign. Just a quick word to the (price) wise: If you're going to stay up that late to get autographs, pay the extra $10 and get leather basketballs. The rubber ones aren't cutting it. Really, it's OK to splurge now and then ...

While we have no problem signing in the airport, I must add rule #932 to autograph etiquette: Never call player's hotel rooms and ask foolish questions. First of all, the players are most likely napping. Second, if the player asks you to identify yourself ... don't just pause and repeat your question. Third, when the player asks if you work for the hotel, don't say,"I'm standing next to the bellhop." Didn't know standing next to the bellhop was a job description! Not only that, but what the heck is a bellhop? Is that some Disney version of a bellman? Is he extra fast getting the luggage? I don't know ... I'm at a loss on that one.

On a happier Orlando hotel note ... the place we stayed down there gets three and a half asteroids (out of four) in my rating system (thanks J Dub). Not only were the showerheads high enough that I didn't have to duck, but the grilled vegetables at pregame meal were scrumptious.

Quote of the Week

Wicks

Once again courtesy of Sue Wicks:
"What did the Dukes of Hazard do for a living?"

We all know that they were good ole boys, never meaning no harm. They were making their way, the only way they knew how... and that was just a little bit more than the law would allow.

Well ... with the information provided in that job description, they might as well have been standing next to the bellhop.

Hot Dog... it's Independence Day
Every year there is a hot dog eating contest at Coney Island on the 4th of July. This year's winner ate 50 wieners in 12 minutes. His name ... Takeru "The Prince" Kobayashi. He was the second consecutive Japanese man to win the July 4th contest. The hulking 131 pounder gained eight pounds during the leisurely meal.

Interesting aside: Sue "The Princess" Wicks played ball for two years in Japan and never saw a single hotdog. However, she is still the reigning sushi-eating champion in her weight division.

Fan Mail ... Male Fan?
As I was luxuriating in my coach class seat on the way from Minneapolis to Indianapolis, I noticed the gentleman next to me frequently glancing in my direction. Finally he asked, "Is your name Rebecca?" After the formal introduction, my new friend told me that he looks at a photo of me every night. Apparently he spends his evenings working at a maximum-security prison in San Diego, Calif. and an inmate hung my smiling mug from an old Reader's Digest cover on his cell wall. Ahh ... I just hope the inmate in question is Andy Dufrane.

Thumbs Up/Down Movie Review
What's the Worst That Could Happen?: The worst? You could see this movie. Two thumbs down (I left early after paying $10 to see this miserable film.)

Bridget Jones Diary: One thumb up. I didn't expect to like the movie (I was in need of air conditioning), and it was decent. I wasn't fond of the book but the movie was all right.

Four Weddings and a Funeral: Two thumbs up in the rental category. I guffawed a couple of times during this one. How often I can empathize with Hugh Grant's character when he says, "I need to be somewhere where people aren't!"

Shout Out Time to:
Christina Van Damme's ex
Those with peripheal vision
Silver-bead clad fans in Charlotte
The Boat Basin crew
Twister's Iron Horse Tour participants
45-year-old, tilt-attending, excellent drivers
Newly married Vermonters
J Dub ... thanks for keeping me laughing
Jimi - keep the faith
Those who buckle up and then bolt from cabs