June 25, 2001

The following is not a typical athlete's journal entry. You will not read about how many points were scored, who won, or who was difficult to guard. Instead, you will get a fresh look into the bizarre happenings that make up The World According To Me. I'll be posting new entries regularly, so stay tuned ...

On the Road ... Again
Gotta love making those West Coast swings!! We had a very successful week of games on the road and came away 3-0. We also had a bit of fun off the court.

Just wondering ... is there a better way to simultaneously stimulate your mind and body than by watching Sweet November and eating tiny ham and cheese sandwiches on an America West flight to Phoenix?

You have to appreciate the restaurant in Sacramento that had the soup du jour listed as: "It's too hot for soup." Ain't that the truth on a 100-degree day? (Plus ... just gotta love saying soup du jour!)

You know it's a quality hotel when it has its own magazine. Said mags are a bastion of knowledge for the legions thirsting for hotel information. I especially appreciate the managers who write things like, "I encourage you to meander through our covered garden promenades and flower-lined walkways." Stop encouraging me to meander!

Cost-Benefit Analysis
How thirsty do you need to be to pay $4.32 for a 20-ounce Gatorade? That's even a little pricey for the orange flavored beverage in hot Phoenix.

America West Arena has a hidden piece of heaven here on earth ... an enclave that houses soda machines that charge a mere 35 cents for a can of the finest cola.

Speaking of beverages ... we'll forgive the folks in Sacramento for not having a plethora of medical tape because they had Mug root beer in the fridge. It's not everyday you can grab an ice cold Mug after a game.

Test Your Liberty Knowledge
Which one of my teammates had the childhood nickname "Duck Lips"?
-- Tamika Whitmore

Robinson

Johnson

Weatherspoon

Which Liberty player's mom is about 75 percent American Indian and from the Karaekawaa tribe?
-- Teresa Weatherspoon

Which shooting guard has friends who wear crooked wigs?
-- Vickie Johnson

Which teammate can flat out boogie? She teaches the team the latest dance moves in the locker room before practice.
-- Crystal Robinson

Which teammate spent time giving me a description for a personal ad? She wants someone between the ages of 27-34 (Puerto Rican preferred) who is wealthy, good-looking, can cook, no height requirement, willing to grab all checks, and likes to travel ... Sorry, this info is classified ...

More Inside Scoop
Make sure you ask Becky if she's "stomped the turtle" next time you run into her!

Whitmore

Forget Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. How about Big Country and the Art of Power Equipment? Our own Tamika Whitmore is a motorcycle connoisseur. She loves reading car and bike magazines and already has plans to purchase her dream bike: a Honda. Even more impressive, Miko often gazes longingly at a photo of her next ride ... a John Deere riding mower. (She's debating whether or not to go with the chrome rims.)

The Liberty had a one-hour open practice for some of our season subscribers. As we were introduced one by one, each player did some kind of dance on her way out to the court. When it was time for Sue to run out, instead of dancing ... she pretended to trip and fall.

Word on the Street

Hammon

Wicks

Sue Wicks' veteran words of wisdom to Becky Hammon as the Beckster contemplated whether or not to spend a few grand on a diamond bracelet: "Don't worry, you can put it on layaway."

Becky's priceless response: "What's layaway?"

Crazy ... But it's True
One of the nominees for Cologne of the Year at the FiFi Awards was a fragrance called BOD. I have no idea what it smells like, but it comes in a very unique SPRAY BOTTLE (along the lines of 409 and Windex). Strangé, strangé.

Kiss bassist Gene Simmons recently showcased a unique piece of music memorabilia: a life-size, fully functional Kiss coffin. The coffin is covered with a photomural of band members and emblazoned with the words "Kiss Forever." The Kiss Kasket costs $4,000 and can also be used as ... A COOLER! (As of print time, there was no word on whether it can be put on layaway.)

When players on the Liberty need anti-inflammatory or other prescription drugs, our trainer has them delivered to the Garden from the local pharmacy. However, they can't be delivered until after 12 p.m. The reason ... the pharmacy doesn't have its own delivery service so they have the Chinese restaurant next door bring the drugs when they make their food runs. Would you like sweet & sour or hot mustard with your Naprosyn?!

Just Wondering
If we could've scootered (with a helmet) or hitchhiked from New York to Miami faster than Delta and American Airlines got us there? We left the Big Apple around 8 p.m. on Saturday night (after our Washington game) and arrived in Miami at 2 p.m. Sunday afternoon. Our game was at 5 p.m. that day. Two words: chartered flights!

How many fine dining establishments in New York put pictures of their deceased "regulars" in $5 frames on the wall? I know of one ...

How many degrees separate Cool Ranch Doritos from Cooler Ranch Doritos?

Is there a better way to simultaneously stimulate your mind and body than by watching Sweet November and eating tiny ham and cheese sandwiches on an America West flight to Phoenix?

If people realize how goofy they look when they make "air quotes" with their fingers?

If you need to have a stove or oven in your house to pitch a cooking show?

Shout Out Time to:
My main man Hank: still looking for the sweater
KO: It's good to have you in my corner
Mattel football lenders (and all BVM alums)
Fischmann & Fischmann co-defendants
Deb G.: Nice ride
My boy hooping in Harlem
The well-tipped locker room attendants in Sacramento (thanks Tai)
Kym Hampton: we miss having you on the road!
Ebonics-writing Canadians
No Respect giving former fan club members
The yearbook carrying fan outside MSG: wish I had more time to chat with ya!