May 16, 2001

The following is not a typical athlete's journal entry. You will not read about how many points were scored, who won, or who was difficult to guard. Instead, you will get a fresh look into the bizarre happenings that make up The World According To Me. I'll be posting new entries regularly, so stay tuned ...

If you're reading this during a commercial break from Chains of Love or Suddenly Susan, consider this a fair warning: This World might be a little longer than usual. There's mucho material because I've been with my teammates for two weeks and they are some very funny cats!

Just minutes into the game I got an offensive rebound and smiled. My first shot was a left-handed hook ... air ball. After shooting it, I couldn't help but laugh going back down the court.

The Liberty 2001 (preseason version) had our first road trip of the year. After practicing in NYC, we flew out to Los Angeles on the evening of May 11. We played the Sparks at Long Beach State on the 12th. I can't even explain the joy I felt when putting on my black Liberty uniform for the first time since 1999. Stepping on the court for warm-ups and then game action was another thrill all together.

Just minutes into the game I got an offensive rebound and smiled. My first shot was a left-handed hook ... air ball. After shooting it, I couldn't help but laugh going back down the court. The game got better from there and our team came from behind to win. Of course, both coaches were playing a lot of players while trying to decide on personnel for the final team roster. Two words to sum up the experience of being back on the court: good times.

Killer Quotes

Wicks

Hammon

"Do you remember me? We met in your dreams."
- Becky Hammon revealing her favorite line to Sue Wicks while giving the "How to Be a Mac Momma " tutorial during our bus ride from LAX to the hotel.

"That's just poor execution."
- Sue's comment to the fans hiding in the bushes at our hotel. The team was on the bus by the time the women tumbled out from behind the foliage clutching their WNBA basketballs and Sharpie markers.

"Don't forget to wear your brace."
- My sister's sweet, last-minute advice to me before the game.

"Do you like chubby guys?"
- A New Yorker's line to me after a Knick playoff loss. Actually, I only dig guys who are overweight and wear nothing but horizontal stripes.

Only in New York
The transit bus I take to practice got a little balmy one day. The driver finally turned the air conditioning on and told the relieved passengers, "If the air makes you cold, just sit a little closer to the person next to you."

While picking up my dinner from a restaurant on the Upper West Side, I enjoyed watching a man devour his burger. Right before plowing through his cole slaw and fries, he ordered ... a glass of white wine. (Isn't red wine a better complement to chopped steak, A1 and ketchup?)

Our team and coaching staff had a "Survival Skills Meeting" at Madison Square Garden. Sue was hoping to be exempted since she played this past winter in the war-torn country of Israel ... but no dice. She attended the informative meeting along with the rest of the squad but repeatedly asked for techniques on how to dodge thrown rocks.

Hmmmm ...
A woman opened Mother's Bistro & Bar last year in Portland, OR as a showcase for the recipes of moms around the world. Her late mother is represented by chicken soup and chopped liver paté. I understand the soup, but... liver paté?
Interesting aside: This is the first time I've used paté in my column.

Singer Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit is directing the film Life Without Joe. The riveting subject matter -- a group of teen football players accused of running over a cat.

Continental Airlines now offers Vermont extra sharp cheddar cheese on its flights from Newark to LAX. Fortunately, it is "naturally aged over 60 days." Now ... how does one age a cheese unnaturally?

Out of Nowhere
Matchbox 20 is going on tour with Train as the opening act. Good stuff.
Gas might hit $3/gallon this summer. Even the rats in the subway are disgusted.
I was glued to CSPAN watching the first ever t-ball game from the White House Lawn. Bob Costas did a great job with the play-by-play ... and took an at-bat without anyone realizing he wasn't one of the players.

Shout Out Time ... to:
Moving friend who hiked five floors ... over and over again.
Columbia grads on the La Bamba bus.
Anyone riveted to the edge of his tuffet while watching a movie.
Orange Traffic Barrels.
Fellow fourth row David Gray concert goers.
Jackson Browne look-alikes.
Folks with fan mail in their pockets.
The best writer in WeHart: you've earned that distinction.