Oct. 16, 2000

The following is not a typical athlete's journal entry. You will not read about how many points were scored, who won, or who was difficult to guard. Mostly because of what you'll read about below. Instead, you will experience The World According To Me. I'll be posting new entries regularly, so stay tuned ...

Yes, I've been derelict once again in my duty of keeping the public updated on My World. I offer an apology and implore the masses to finally end their hunger strike. The World According To Me is back, and longer than ever (however, I can't promise that it's better than ever).

Quite a bit has happened since our last soiree. A championship was won (not by us), a gold medal secured (by us), fish caught, birthdays celebrated, home-runs hit, etc., etc. Sit back, grab a Diet Coke (an official sponsor), and enjoy the voyage to my world.

In Case You Missed It:
Houston won the 4th WNBA Championship.
The USA women's hoop team won the gold medal (in case you didn't see the game on tape delay).
Sue Wicks and Becky Hammon didn't catch any fish ... but we'll get to that later.

News Flash:
A Secret Service agent was bitten by a woman in New York City. For some reason, she tried to approach first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton during a parade and was stopped by the agent. The 55-year-old biter is named Yolande Bobb and was charged with first degree assault. No word on whether she is related to Monica Lewinsky.
A study conducted at the University of Western Ontario suggests that people with big, and in particular wide, heads tend to be more intelligent. However, pointy heads are negatively correlated with IQ. Basically, if you can't find a hat big enough for your noggin', you are probably pretty bright. You might look like one of those dolls perched on the car dashboard, but you are a smarty-pants.

Before we bid adieu to the 2000 season, I think I should wrap-up with some final summer stories:

Wicks

1.) There was the time Sue Wicks was using the ladies room near the baggage claim in the Cleveland airport when a nice older woman asked her if there was a "tall woman's convention" going on that week. Sue responded that indeed, there was such a convention and the organizers were bringing in tall men from all over Europe for the occasion. Sue went on to say that she hoped to finally meet someone this year since she'd been attending such conventions for a while and hadn't yet made a love connection.

2.) There was the time we were served hot meat loaf sandwiches on the flight back from Houston. As if losing the championship wasn't enough, we were given meat loaf sandwiches, potato chips and carrots. I think Continental should call itself "The Gourmet Airline."

Now we can finally put closure to the summer of 2000. Buh-bye.

Exciting happenings so far in the Fall of 2000 have included:

A trip to Colorado to present Sammy Sosa with the Hispanic Heritage Award for sports. Sammy was super nice and gave me a signed bat (even though I didn't ask for anything). Anthony Munoz helped me present the award. He is an exemplary athlete and father and I wish his daughter Michelle well in her basketball career (even though she's going to the University of Tennessee).

Hammon

A fishing trip with Sue Wicks and Becky Hammon. Becky and Sue drove up to Connecticut to have lunch at Becky's grandparents' house and then do some ocean fishing. We feasted on lobster and steak and then headed out on the water. Sue and I caught some bluefish and striped bass. Becky caught seasickness and spent the trip hunched over the side of the boat getting rid of her lobster and steak. Overall, we had a good time. (However, I don't think Sue will wear her Richard Tyler suit and Gucci shoes next time!)

Funny Idea:

Sprewell

Sue thinks the shoe company And 1 should film a commercial for the NBA season featuring two of her favorites. Her concept is to have Latrell Sprewell braiding Bobby Knight's hair. When the coach's cornrows are completed, both men will say in unison, "We are the American Dream." I think Ms. Wicks has a future in product advertisement!!!

Time for the shout out:
The folks at Martino's restaurant. Thanks for giving us a wonderful season- ending meal.
Spoon: love the new hairdo.
TV-toting strongmen. Thanks for the help.
Whoever has the guts to eat sushi sold at Chicago's O'Hare airport.
The woman in Granville, Mass. who claims to be my grandmother even though I've never met her.
The folks who sent birthday wishes. I appreciate the thoughtful cards and gifts from the fans.
Danny D, Kristine Lilly, Meghan, and my golfing crew.
Shoe: my favorite tour guide