Dec. 2, 1999

The following is not a typical athlete's journal entry. You will not read about how many points were scored, who won, or who was difficult to guard. Mostly because of what you'll read about below. Instead, you will experience The World According To Me. Each week, I'll be posting another entry, so stay tuned ...

I better add a wing to the doghouse I am now occupying. I am in the "house of woof" of the folks at WNBA.com, everyone I owe "Shout Outs" to, and my loyal reading public. What can I do, except to make an early New Year's resolution to be better about writing new journal entries? (Of course, I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions, but I visited that topic last January.)

It has been so long since I last put pen to page (or finger to laptop), I don't know where to start. I'll just give ya'll a cursory view into the events of my world.

I appeared on Wheel of Fortune during NBA Week. Kym Hampton was also competing.

We were teamed up with partners and the New Yorker I was with deciphered every puzzle almost immediately. Of course, she didn't get a chance to shine because I nicely spun a "bankrupt" and a "lose a turn." I better stick to Jeopardy. They don't have a wheel to spin in that game.

The best part of the trip to L.A. to film the show was the plane ride home. I sat next to Kym and we talked for five hours. Kym is a really special teammate. I'm going to miss her next year. (Unfortunately, I do think in my heart that she is going to retire.)

I also went to the grand re-opening of Radio City Music Hall and was seated next to Kym. I laughed when Billy Crystal came onstage dressed like a Rockette. I laughed harder when Kym said to me, "Ya know, if you saw one of those people in the orchestra walking down the street, you'd never know she played the violin." I wonder what is going through her mind during the Nutcracker (with live or taped music.)

I did a public service announcement for the New York Blood Drive where I had the opportunity to meet Donald Trump. We chatted but I did not shake his hand. I am glad I didn't since I later read that he hates that physical greeting. I wonder how that could effect his run for the Presidency.

I went to Puerto Rico for four days to play in the Ivan Rodriguez Hispanic Scholarship Fund golf tournament. It was my third year there and, as always, I had a great time. I rode in the cart with Franco Harris (of Pittsburgh Steelers and Immaculate Reception fame) one day and with Pudge Rodriguez another day. I also learned how to play Craps on the trip. Of course, much like my Wheel of Fortune woes, I did not have any luck rolling the die. Good thing I didn't bet any money.

And, I finally got to take a little vacation. I spent three days in Phoenix, Arizona. The vacation was mostly for relaxation (after doing rehab every day, of course.) However, one day I went to Sedona and took a Pink Jeep Tour. Like the name suggests, six people pile into a pink jeep for a two-hour tour of the Red Rock canyons. I thought it was interesting that our tour guide was a gentleman from Scotland who had been in the States for a few years but spoke with an incredibly thick accent. He gave us a lot of great information. Of course, I have no idea how much of it is true. I did trust his opinion on the most flattering kilts for tall women, though.

Here's a JUST WONDERING for you :
I heard an advertisement on the radio for a cream that promotes breast growth when it is rubbed on the chest. My question ... does it make your hands grow, too?

EMBARASSING MOMENT No. 1
I was in Kansas City doing a speech for the Girl Scouts in front of 8,000 people. Before the speech, I had a TV interview to do at my hotel. The Girl Scouts had a woman come to the room to do my hair and makeup for the interview. Of course, after she was done pampering me and making me up, the interview was canceled.

Then, to make matters worse, my toilet broke. The handle snapped somehow and the wonderful porcelain flusher started to overflow. I called housekeeping and got the recorded message, "We are not here right now." Finally, I got through to someone at the front desk and screamed for help as the water gushed out towards my bed. I went to the bathroom and was able to stop the water by sticking my hand in to the back of the bowl and holding up the stopper.

Fortunately, the water was clean. I stood with my hand in the toilet for about five minutes before housekeeping showed up. All I could think was that God has a great sense of humor. Fifteen minutes before, I was getting my hair and makeup done and feeling pretty good about myself. A few blinks later, I had my elbow in toilet water. (Now I know that there is a knob at the base of the toilet which shuts off the water. I wish I knew that then.)

EMBARASSING MOMENT No. 2
I was on the Upper West Side of Manhattan on my way to physical therapy and I couldn't catch a cab. I decided to make my maiden voyage on the crosstown bus. I didn't have my Metro Card, (the card you swipe through a reader that deducts your fare,) but I had plenty of cash so I figured I was OK. I waited patiently in line to get on the bus and when I got to the driver I asked how much my fare was. She told me I needed to either pay $1.50 with a Metro Card or with a bus token. Of course, I had neither and she wouldn't accept cash. Fortunately, the man behind me allowed me to borrow his card in exchange for $2 cash. It would have been a LITTLE embarrassing to get thrown off a New York City bus for lack of payment.

DUMB QUESTION
I went to the Chase Tennis tournament at Madison Square Garden with my physical therapist extraordinare, Yvonne. We didn't have dinner before arriving so we went to the food court after the first match. I was sitting in the food court with a mouth full of chicken fajita when a woman asked me, "Are you here to eat or are you here to watch tennis?" I looked at her and pointed to my mouth, which was full of Mexican fare. She asked me the same question again. Now, let's look at the clues. First, I was eating. Second, I was at the food court in MSG. I don't know how many people buy tickets to an event in MSG just so they can eat at the food court. I also don't know how many people who have a mouth full of food when they aren't eating. Sherlock Holmes better watch out.

THE KIND OF MAN I ATTRACT
One of the women at the hospital where I work my knee told me that she had a man painting her apartment and they were talking about women's basketball. He did not know that she worked with me, but he told her he thought I had "luscious lips." Of course, two days later, he stole all the cash out of her husband's wallet. Yeah, that's the kind of person I want compliments from!

Time now for SHOUT OUTS to:
 the Loyola Girl's Volleyball team and my main man, Patrick
 all my friend's from Southwick High School who attended Christine's wedding
 FBI agents who appreciate a good thing when they have it
 The cute, little Italian who makes the dough rise at Grimaldi's in Brooklyn. The trip is worth more than just fabulous pizza.
 Anyone who understood "Being John Malcovich"
 The man who sneaked down to the front and sat next to me during the Knicks/Heat game
 All who answered their door and gave out candy for Halloween
 The folks who ignored the spitting fight on the subway to the Yankee World Series clincher
 The University of Hartford women's basketball head coach
 Anyone who actually enjoys Scotch (yuck)
 Those who appreciate the art of Fall cleaning