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PHOENIX, Jan. 29, 2003 -- You know, I can't even begin to understand what in the world Meredith is doing. She is not making this process any easier on herself by picking complete idiots. I must say, more than ever before on either "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette" have I seen more people that just make me want to reject my dinner.
Tonight's show began with an individual date awarded to the man found most compatible with Meredith based on compatibility tests taken before the onset of the show. The person found most compatible with Meredith was Ian. This individual date involved chopsticks, a cart ride through a secluded Chinatown, then a toss into the wishing well.
Finally, a shocking rose ceremony.
(Photo: Arizona Department of Health Services)
The next date was Meredith and two other men also found to share a certain compatibility with her. Ryan M. and Todd joined Meredith for a train ride back to my stomping grounds: Santa Barbara, baby! However, I must say I've never been to the Santa Barbara Zoo but I have seen the giraffe with the cricked neck from East Beach while taking in a little beach volleyball. The sweaty men in board shorts was always more appealing to me than stinky elephants, but I digress. It appeared as if Ryan M., a Santa Barbara native, had spent some time at the Zoo because not only did one of the giraffes give him a big fat wet kiss right across his face but I'm pretty sure that the parrots were his hair dressers at one time. He just stood there with a parrot on top of his head plucking at his head while another rested on his shoulder cleaning up his neck line â║! Todd, on the other hand, when Ryan M. wasn't talking, spent his time making fun of Ryan M. But I have to say I can't blame him because if I were there I would have ripped Ryan M.'s vocal cords out with my bare hands. What can I say? I've always been a bit on the aggressive side.
The final date of tonight's episode was with the other seven men. They packed up their skates and headed to the hockey arena where each man had the chance to win individual time with Meredith by seeing how many goals they could score against a professional hockey goalie from the Ducks. Lo and behold, Lanny the Lone Ranger was our winner. This enabled him to spend some time in the penalty box with Meredith. Later that evening Meredith and the boys enjoyed their own suite for the main eventíK watching short men with sticks beat each other until their teeth fall out! Who wouldn't want to do that when you are trying to find the man of your dreams?
With seven men, the likelihood of one of them scoring decreases drastically. Don't tell that to Matt who was smart enough to forgo the surging testosterone pulsing through the building and remember just what he was there for. Meredith was so grateful she rewarded him with not one, not two, but several smooches. However, this one-on-one time left the other six men twiddling their thumbs trying to relax. This was just enough time for Rick to sign his own death warrant. He came up with a game to test Meredith's knowledge of each of the men on the date. All this did was embarrass Meredith and quite frankly piss the girl off. In fact, when Rick requested one-on-one time after the game she flat out shut that boy down. Thank goodness she is finally coming to her senses.
Tonight's rose ceremony was for the first time in "Bachelor/Bachelorette" history "the most shocking rose ceremony yet"!! When it came time for Meredith to go upstairs to the deliberation room, she told the host, Chris Harrison, that she wasn't ready. In the end, she requested the option to give out a seventh rose when originally she was instructed to narrow the group from ten to six men. But that's not the only thing that made tonight the most shocking rose ceremony yet.
Meredith ultimately came to the conclusion that she could not say goodbye to Ian, Lanny, Chad, Brad, Shawn, Matt, and, God help me next week when I have to watch this show again, Ryan M. She did however feel that Todd, Rick and Ryan R. were not for her. Ryan R. was a little upset about her decision. It is safe to say he was more than a little upset. He threw his microphone, refused to talk to the guys, and ranted and raved on camera about how the right man for her was not in there and he only got to spend 45 minutes with her the whole show and so on and so on. What do I have to say about that? Well, Ryan R., cry me a freakin' river. Way to be selfless and realize that this show is not all about you. Hopefully you figure it out soon or I can predict that you will be looking for love for a long long time.
Until next timeíK